What if you had an identical cousin?
What if most crimes were solved?
What if your favorite Uncle was a Martian? Your wife a docile witch?
Your grandmother a writer who solves murders?
You were impossibly beautiful during highschool. And implausibly rich. And you graduated without having done a moments work.
What if people never went to the bathroom? Why are they there?
Every morning, most women wake up with perfect make-up on their face.
When you take a cruise, you'll eat at the captain's table. You will fall in love.
Your mother is a car. Nuns fly.
Your older sister explains it all. She feels nothing but contempt for you.
What if your parents did have an impossibly perfect marriage, sleeping in separate beds? What if you went to school one day as the "new you"?
What is only bad guys died? What if they didn't even die but only got marginally bruised?
Would the world make any kind of sense? Would you be a bad guy?
Which TV show is your life? Which one do you want your life to be?
You have spent your last years as a 20 something sitting on a couch in a coffehouse. You have perfect hair. No-one ever has acne, unless it is funny.
A good looking gay man in LA spends a year not being able to get a date while everyone in the condominiums around his are fucking all out.
People only die in hospitals when it is heartbreaking, dying heroically.
That goddamn music all the time around you... you know when trouble is going to hit because of the violins. You know when you will be happy because the horns blow.
Your life will be 90% predictable.
You will be replaced if you aren't compelling enough.
Your life is TV.